Getting Honest

What lightbulb needs to be replaced? You must first turn the lights on to see which is burnt out, and not working for ya anymore.
During my teenage years I underwent self-help seminars. I learned many new life skills such as; step left, call people out of their stuff, and stop lying by omission. I may have had an incorrect take away of those lessons but those are some of the most resounding ones that have stuck with me throughout my young adulthood. I have been firm on being honest about my feelings, doing the right thing and calling those out who don’t do the same. I have stuck up for myself, I have ousted people’s wrongs, I have persevered when others wanted me to back down and surrender. Now I know what you’re thinking, “this chick is legit awesome!” Maybe some of version of that. (That was the SoCal/valley girl version). I mean, it’s kind of true and some people looooove this about me. I will tell you out of a hundred times these qualities have served me hmmmmm, maybe once. 91 times they burned bridges and 8 times they were nuking the bridge and the surrounding villages.
I always feel misunderstood and I am beginning to see that the perception of these behaviors is probably leading to a misconception (and I am also annoyingly sensitive). With all my best intentions, these learned behaviors are not working for me. They often come across as entitled or needing to have credit for things, and in most cases PETTY! The best way to really dissect and understand what behaviors you are emmulating, use the mirror technique. See your behavior on someone else. You may have unknowingly done this already. Have you ever strongly disliked someone, or something about them? It may be that you see those similarities in yourself and seeing them mirrored and from a different perspective is a bit cringe-worthy. I know it’s hard to admit that you see a lot of yourself in that annoying, know-it-all coworker, you can’t stand. But again, change comes with honesty. Most importantly from within!

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